Archive for the 'The Lighter Side' Category

My Ride!

The Benevolent and Protective Wingleader of our Conservative cabal, the intrepid Instinct, spends his days learning the finer aspects of CGI and other animation in a Masters degree program in a location where he cannot hunt for Liberals for there are laws against doing so in a baited field (in other words, coastal California).

He has spent months working up the ’69 Camaro Rally Sport that graces the banner on his blog.  Last Friday night, he surprised me with a special, custom made paint job on his virtual muscle car just for lil’ ol’ me!  Feast your eyes on this!

Thanks, Instinct!

Thanks, Instinct!

I got to thinking, though–a dangerous thing, I know–but, as much as I love the virtual wheels, I need to add a couple of touches to make it truly mine.

First, a rack to properly keep this handy:

A custom-made, fully functional AR-15!

A custom-made, fully functional AR-15!

And, in the spirit of the earliest days of automobiling, a set of custom-made driving togs for jaunts behind the wheel!

Although the helmet MIGHT hinder peripheral vision....

Although the helmet MIGHT hinder peripheral vision....

Instinct, I hope I didn’t take it too far.  You ARE still speaking to me, aren’t you?

Aren’t you?



I Got Tagged?

Jennifer, my conservative comadre, fellow Knave of the Round Table, apparently identified me to play a little cyber-game and didn’t tell me.  OK, so for some unknown reason, her responses to my posts evaporate into the ether (and for the love of Mike, I don’t know why), and I haven’t been available for much of the email erudition the last couple of days, but she coulda told me instead of having me find out by accident!

So, apparently, I have to stop, introduce the game by linking to the perpetrator (see link above), list seven weird and wacky facts about myself, then “share the wealth” by nominating another seven–and my top two were already taken, thanks a lot.  😦

Anyway, here goes:

  1. My two grandmothers were both redheads and had almost identical names.  Mattie Lou (my father’s mother) was a carrot-top; Mattie Louise (my mother’s mother) had auburn hair.  Neither used the name “Mattie”–they were “Lucy” and “Louise,” respectively.
  2. I have two sons and a daughter.  My mother has two sons and a daughter.  Her mother had two sons and a daughter, as did her mother before her.  In other words, there haven’t been a pair of sisters on the distaff side of my family for four generations now.  I don’t know any farther back than that.
  3. Remember the song “Tom Dooley,” made popular by the Kingston Trio?  That true story was actually about a convicted murderer named Tom Dula, whose aunt Judith was my great-great-great grandmother.
  4. My great-grandfather, Thomas David Hall, was one of only three men of Co. C, 26th North Carolina Regiment to survive Pickett’s Charge.
  5. I can trace my lineage to three Scottish immigrants who arrived in the American Colonies ca. 1730.  My husband is a first-generation American, born in California to LEGAL immigrants from Mexico.  That means my children are just about the only second-generation Americans who are also card-carrying members of the CAR (Children of the American Revolution).
  6. I have family (either by blood or marriage) who were in every American military conflict except the Spanish-American War, WWI, and the current War on Terror.  One of my husband’s ancestors was a general in service to Benito Juarez who witnessed the capture and execution of the Mexican Emperor Maximilian at Queretaro.
  7. I love dogs–as long as they aren’t mine.  With cats, you can clean the litter box, fill the food and water dish, take off for the weekend, and when you return, they’ll look up and say “Oh, you were gone?”  If I tried doing that with a dog, I wouldn’t be able to set foot in my place until the HazMat people were done.

Now I have to tag seven other lucky schmucks.  As said before, my top two are tagged already, and I have a dearth of other victims eligible nominees, so I’m raiding the list of My Friends’ Blogs for this one.

  1. Lucy Belle:  This should be interesting; Lucy Belle’s a cat!
  2. Betty:  I wrote a great poem about her furbabies.  Maybe she’ll be sympathetic.
  3. Cato:  Another cat, but this one’s running for President!  Seriously!
  4. Buttercup:  “Mawwaige.  Mawwaige is what bwings us togewthew today.”
  5. Sybil Baggins:  I’m spreading the wealth all the way “across the pond”!
  6. Willow and
  7. Wicket: Hey, is it MY fault they blog together????

I Can Has Dichotomy??

The Daily Kitten’s chat room is becoming a mother lode of source material!  I have Arcalian to thank for this one–gratitude FUZZ!

LOLBAT saves the day!
LOLBAT saves the day!

So how in the name of Merriam-Webster can I support this obvious abrogation of proper English grammar and spelling?  Simple–it’s funny!

Let’s face it, would Al Jolson have had as much impact if his one spoken line in The Jazz Singer been “You haven’t seen anything yet”?  Would we UGa alumni get as fired up shouting “How about those dogs?”  If Huckleberry Finn had used proper English, who would have been absorbed in his adventures, or would he have had them at all?

Don’t get me wrong.  I still believe that if I could find the person or persons responsible for developing text message slang, that as an English teacher, my slow, torturous cold-blooded murder of them would be found to be justifiable homicide in any courtroom for all the remedial teaching I have been forced to do–with HONORS students, no less!

That doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with our language, as long as it’s done in the right place–sites such as I Can Has Cheezburger are a great example!  It all started with HappyCat.

The animal species expanded with the very next post–there are now lolbunnies, and lolhamsters.  Most famously, the lolruses stay in search of their stolen bukkit–a saga that has not only inspired a movie but even an invented storyline for 24 (that has, sadly, been removed from YouTube).  A lolcat version of religion has even emerged.

As popularity grew, ICHC branched out as well.  There are now sites for loldogs (or “goggies,” as the lolcats refer to them),  funny graphs, political humor, doppelgangers, and (most recently), an outsider’s view of English.  Checking out “lol”s brings joy to me, and often makes me say “Dang, I wish I’d thought of that!”

And that’s not entirely a bad thing….

Lightening Up

I spoke on the phone w/Hubby tonight (his job is 90 miles away–it’s cheaper for him to rent an apartment there during the week than pay for gas to commute).  He thinks I’ve been too serious lately, and advised me to lighten up.  Since it’s about time for my Annual Act of Unquestioning Obedience in Order to Preserve the Marriage, I decided to comply, even if I’m not in the most jovial mood right now.

One of the first lessons I learned when studying to get my Texas Teacher’s Certificate was “don’t reinvent the wheel.”  In other words, if you see an idea you think will work; beg, borrow, or steal it.  That meshed well with the first thing I was taught in Journalism school, which was “if you can get someone else to do your research, go for it!”  It is in the spirit of those pearls of sage advice that I present the following clips, courtesy of the fine folks at YouTube–classic, timeless comedy that may even have me laughing by the time I’m done!

First is a series of clips from an 1969 episode of The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour featuring special guest “Mr. Showmanship” himself, Liberace.  Keep an eye out for “Super Dave” Osborne as a motorcycle cop.

The next excerpt is from my favorite comedian of all time, Jack Benny.  His best friend, George Burns said, describing Benny’s comic uniqueness:  “In radio [where both first achieved nationwide fame], a comedian only has two tools–sound and silence.  Others used sound to get a laugh; Jack used the silence.”  This clip shows Jack’s use of the silence to get side-splitting laughs in a minimalist dialogue with Mel Blanc (yes, the “man of 1000 voices,” most of them for Looney Tunes cartoons).  It also showcases just how stellar a violinist Jack Benny was (the poor playing was only a gag).

Finally, there is a Shakespearean twist on what may be the best comedy routine of all time:  Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First” send-up of baseball.  (click on the link if you are not familiar with the classic original).  If you love high theatre and low-flying humor, this performance by a New Jersey duo is for you!

Have a chuckle, a chortle, or a guffaw on me!  I’ll leave the “low-flying humor” light on for ya!

The Fickle Fifteen Minutes of Fame

A friend sent me an e-mail link to a cute video of a cop holding up 5-6 lanes of California rush-hour traffic for a mama duck and her brood (everyone made it across safely). Off on the sidebar, however was this gem of a forgotten icon which I felt was well worth watching (never mind that the man who made him famous is an alum of my alma mater and on the cover of the current issue of Daddy’s alumni magazine).

Please watch with appropriate reverence. A tissue might also be helpful.


May 2019
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