A Better Way to Spend $85 Billion!

I received the following e-mail this morning from several friends regarding the current debacle commonly known as the proposed bail-out of Wall Street firms that choose to back the pyramid scheme commonly know as the mortgage loan industry.  A very astute man named T. J. Birkenmeier has a better idea–one that is so democratic (notice the lower-case “d”–I’m not talking partisan issues, dearies) and common sense that it has absolutely no chance of being taken seriously in Washington.  Instead of something like this, our tax money will go to bailing out the fat cats (and only a well-connected few of those, mind you) who “know how to manage people’s money better than we do,” while the rest of us are told to go commit an act that is not only immoral, but physically impossible.

At this point, I turn over the floor to someone who can actually do the math.  More power to you, Birk.

***************************************

The Birk Economic Recovery Plan

Hi, Pals,

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up….

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free.  So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.  That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in his or her pocket.  A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?  Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.

Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads!

Put away money for college – it’ll be there!

Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

Buy a new car – create jobs.

Invest in the market – capital drives growth.

Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves.

Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else.

Remember, this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( “vote buy” ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG – liquidate it.  Sell off its parts.  Let American General go back to being American General.  Sell off the real estate.  Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.”

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party?  How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh…I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards,

Birk
T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it’s either good for a laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!

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9 Responses to “A Better Way to Spend $85 Billion!”


  1. 1 grampysbooks September 24, 2008 at 8:07 am

    The math on this doesn’t quite work out as I see it. To split up $85,000,000,000 I arrive at 200,000,000 people at $425.00 per person, not $425,000.00
    .
    If you took the currently proposed bailout of $700 billion, that would work out to only $3,500 per person. This person has just, in my mind, disqualified himself from providing any input into the problem. The government figures for the current taxpaying units arrive at a cost of $7,000.00 per. This would mean that we have approximately 100,000,000 tax paying units in the country. To arrive at a figure of $425,000.00 per is to actually declare that he is not smarter than a fifth grader!

    That said, I am against the bailout and think that they should just let these as*****s go down in flames. I would rather see the government spend that money in a new deal type program building and repairing roads, bridges and mass transit etc. We should also use some of the money to invest in green technologies etc. That would be a far more productive use of the money in the long run and the people of the US would benefit.

  2. 2 billyjfish September 24, 2008 at 8:23 am

    Sounds great the only problem is his math is way off. That comes to $425.00 a person. Thank god he’s not running our counrty.

  3. 3 gatakitty September 24, 2008 at 8:23 am

    ry0ukidding sent me a reply with an ugly bit of name calling attached (which is patently against the rules set by me before I wrote my first post). Still, he brings up a valid point, which I have quoted below.

    “Do the math. 85 billion dollars divided by 200 million people works out to 425 bucks, not $425K.

    You can wish in one hand and spit in the other – see which one fills up first… -OR- If it sounds too good to be true, guess what?

    This lack of attention to details (and this is a BIG detail) is what allows corporations to pillage the taxpayers while the taxpayers being pillaged rant to no avail on blogs devoid of critical thought.”

  4. 4 gatakitty September 24, 2008 at 8:31 am

    Now for my reply:

    Oops. I never said I could do the math–I don’t pretend to be able to. The last math class I took was Algebra II in the 10th grade. (Journalism degrees only had a 5-hour math requirement in my day, which–solely by the grace of God–I managed to CLEP.) The only thing I learned in that class was “Don’t try to understand it–just do what the teacher says and more often than not, you’ll get it right.” I escaped with a solid B that I was more than happy to get. Thank God Hubby is an engineer, else my kids would be alone and adrift when needing help with their math homework. I help with the music, grammar and composition, he helps with the math and Spanish, and we both chip in with history and science.

    That being said, I did state that I would yield the floor to those who could actually do the math. I’m glad y’all stepped up!

  5. 5 pa9979 September 25, 2008 at 10:13 am

    You don’t have to be a genius to do the math. The geniuses at Google do it for you. Just type it in the search box and voila. But anyway, Mr. Birkenmeier is the one who should be shamed. But I do agree with his principle. He simply should have added all of the bailouts (before the big, upcoming one) together. That would have given him enough money to do some real good ($200B Fannie & Freddie, $29B Bear Stearns loan, $85B AIG = $314B. Considering every federal bailout prior to 2008 (and in 2008 dollars) cost a TOTAL of $347B… wait… WTF?!?

  6. 6 anneshaw September 25, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    Oh, this is nonsense. The American government does not have the money to bail anyone out of dodge. The federal economy is $50 trillion in the red. http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Global_Economy/JI26Dj03.html

  7. 7 samjones2 September 26, 2008 at 12:31 am

    I got this email today, and quickly responded to the person sending it to me. It’s good that people aren’t falling for it, although it’s bad to see that people do fall for it enough to blog it.

    I understand that you have trouble with the math, and it’s a good thing you can admit that you are wrong, I applaud you for that. 🙂

    Next time though, follow your own instinct – Too good to be true = Is.

    I would feel really bad if I were this guy, and I sent this out to as many people have seen it now.

    (By the way for those that don’t know, he added THREE Zeroes to the number he used, dividing his 200,000,000 people by $85 TRILLION)

    I’m glad that you posted this though, so other people can see how blatantly wrong that guy was, and won’t start thinking it’s a good idea.

    (—Wonders if maybe this is why Bush thought the $600 per citizen plan would actually do anything.)

  8. 8 cho33 September 27, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    wow, this letter has gone all over the internet and it’s totally wrong on the math. It’s $425 a person. I wish people would check things before they send it to everyone they know. The math part reminds me of how the banks must have been calculating, too.

  9. 9 Divakar Rao September 13, 2009 at 12:39 am

    I think the plan makes some sense, if properly implemented by the government. Better the citizens be aware fully of the plan details and they must be stimulated to spend the bail out money as quicly as possible to create the aggregate demand to pull the economy from the present recession. At the same time, the spending has to look into how much productive activity is getting newly created to boost up jobs on one hand and built the capital structure on the other for future sustainability.


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